John, you are such a ****ing dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a ****ing zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my ****ing face. **** that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a - 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.
Fake letter from Ethan Albright to John Madden.  Albright was the lowest rated player in Madden NFL 2007.  He made the Pro-Bowl the next year.  This letter is a must read.